In the blog this week we will talk about losing a soul cat, how it breaks you, how the hell you cope with the grief, and how to find a way to continue on when they aren’t by your side anymore (in physical form).
This is Pickle. My soul cat. The one who changed my life, rocked my world and set me on my path for my soul’s mission.
She was incredibly poorly for the 13 years I had her, but she inspired me to leave my corporate job and train in complementary therapies to help the cats of this world.
And when she left my side, I broke.
My husband at the time didn’t know what to do with me. How to support me, what to say to me. I couldn’t stop crying. My heart was breaking, and at moments that felt literal. I couldn’t breathe. Let along work, talk, share or be anything other than broken. Do you know what I mean?
When literally EVERYTHING in your life doesn’t matter, makes no sense and you can’t see how you are going to survive the next minute let alone be an adult and do ‘normal’ things.
How can you carry on when they aren’t with you anymore? How can the world keep spinning when yours has crumbled into a million pieces? How do you deal with the death of a cat – you most trusted friend, confidant and source of love and support?
I remember texting my best friend and saying to her, I can’t breathe. And yet somehow I did. But I had to break it down. It wasn’t about tomorrow or next week, it was literally about making it though the next moment, and then the next. Allowing myself to feel pain so raw I never thought I would survive it.
It’s OK if you can’t share with others. If you can’t tell them what’s going on for you, it takes time to mentally and emotionally process a loss.
I felt soooo much guilt when I was processing my emotions about Pickle passing back into the light. I felt guilty that I hadn’t noticed sooner she wouldn’t get off the sofa. I felt guilty that she was in so much pain and suffering. I felt shame because I thought I had kept her alive for my own benefit without considering her needs. And I felt angry that she had to go. Why couldn’t she live forever?
Part of grief, in my opinion, is allowing yourself to have, experience and work through the dense and heavy emotions. We are human after all. I do find it’s best not to hold on to them.
In the Become a soul led cat guardian programme our foundational mantra is: Find it, feel it and release it. Because experiencing our emotions (yes even the heavy and hard ones) is a core part of being a soul led cat guardian, even if our cat is in spirit.
So allow yourself to feel the pain, the heavy and the hard. Be kind to yourself as you do and try to let them go as/when you can. It doesn’t mean you love them any less if you work towards a sense of peace. And it doesn’t serve anyone for you to hold onto them.
One certainty than I can share with you is that when you lose your soul cat, you lose a version of yourself. It took me nearly 12 months to find out who I was when I wasn’t Pickle’s Mum. There are moments when I wish I could go back, but there are also moments when I’m glad she’s gone because she isn’t suffering anymore.
Take all the time you need to grieve, re-calibrate and cope with the tragic and painful loss of saying goodbye to your soul cat. No-one knows how it feels for you, and no-one can take away your pain I’m afraid. You just need to take one day, one hour, one minute at a time to get through it. I’m not going to say it gets better or easier with time because it doesn’t. You just learn to grow around the pain as it walks with you every day.
As does your cat in spirit form, they are always by your side.
I hope this blog has given you some form of comfort in what I can only imagine and describe as one of the worst times of an adults life.
If you need support dealing with the grief of losing your soul cat let me help. I offer healing sessions for cat guardians, one off and a set of 4, that can help you to deal with your pain, grief and sadness.
Sending you healing light.
With love,
Julie-Anne
Soul activator for cat guardians, empath, author and cat mum.
Helping anxious humans with anxious cats.
Giving cats a voice and changing the world's perception of cats.
And if you’d like to be part of a warm, spiritual community of cat lovers who cherish deep connections, spiritual support and gentle souls, join my FREE, online community: The Soul Space.
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