In this blog we’ll look at how you can help your cat. It’s not about litter trays, it’s about looking within. It’s about helping you to see that you always have a choice in how you show up for your cat. Let’s look at how your energy affects them both mentally and physically, and why you may need a time out!
How the earth moved for Darling the cat
In this blog I’ll share with you the story of Darling, a loving ragdoll cat who needed help to reconnect with her family to stop her urinating around the home.
Not only is Darling such a beauty to look at she has the most sensitive and tender soul in a cat I think I have ever come across. She lit up when she had cuddles with her cat mum, she would need constant physical touch and interaction and loved to be the centre of attention.
Now you know that I believe every cat is unique, they are sentient and experience emotions. Well, if ever there was a learning case for me to cement those beliefs it would be working with Darling.
Darling’s guardian, Rebecca, came to me to ask for help as Darling was constantly weeing around the home. Now this little beauty would do it EVERYWHERE. Bathroom floor, sofa, in the kids’ bedrooms, on the kids’ beds, toys … and more.
She was driving her guardians crazy – yet she was still very loving and showed no other obvious signs of stress. Rebecca couldn’t keep up with the washing. She had tried Rescue Remedy, adding litter trays, changing the litter, having Darling checked by the vet and making other changes in the home.
The last straw … when Darling went into her young daughter’s bedroom and weed on her daughter. Amy came into her mum’s bedroom and said: ‘Mummy I’m wet, Darling just went wee wee on me’.
Not something you want to be waking up to?! Rebecca needed help. She contacted me and we set to work.
I did a complete assessment of Darling which included looking at her medical history, her current environment, relationships with household members, nutrition and her Chinese 5 Element type.
Darling’s primary element was Earth. More on this a little later.
We didn’t actually begin by adding litter trays. I know this may seem controversial – especially to any traditional behaviourists out there. She had 2, I didn’t think another would help. Instead, we looked at when and where specifically Darling was weeing.
It was to do with the kids.
Rebecca had two young girls, Amy and Bella. Amy was 6 and Bella 18 months old. Darling would repeatedly wee outside Bella’s bedroom door and had now started to do it Amy’s room. Yet she would also curl up for cuddles on Amy’s bed. Rebecca was so confused.
My take on it – Darling was having issues adjusting to the girls in the home. She had gone from being the centre of attention to then sharing that when Amy came along but with Bella it was a whole different ball game.
Rebecca was doing her best to split her time (as most busy mums do) between her girls, the cat, her husband and her job! She was doing an amazing job but sadly it wasn’t working for Darling.
What we discovered was that Bella would play ‘Boo’ with Darling. She would go to her cat tree and when Darling was asleep, Bella would shout Boo at her. Darling would reciprocate this by weeing in places Bella had been and was now doing it on her toys.
What did we do?
My understanding was that Darling needed her own space, away from the girls but also loved to be in the centre of everything in the home. I mentioned above that Darling was an Earth element.
Earth cats are literally like mother earth, the mother of a family. They like to watch over everyone, be involved with everything. They check up on all members of the family, the provide love, nurture and reassurance.
Darling wasn’t having these needs met.
We raised her cat tree so Bella couldn’t startle her. We helped Rebecca carve out time where she could be with Darling 1-2-1. We also helped Bella to approach Darling in a much more calm and considered way. And we offered Darling my secret weapon …remedies!
The first set of remedies we offered were:
Valerian Root – Reduces anxiety
Violet leaf – Soothes a sad heart
Rose buds – Nurturing
Vetiver – Supports with change in the home
Calendula – Boosts self confidence
Jasmine – Emotionally supportive
Catnip – Calming
Pink lotus – Balances the chakras
Darling responded beautifully. The remedies were a hit!
Now the problem didn’t go away overnight. As you know, emotions are tricky. Sadness, hurt, rejection…they don’t just disappear with one therapy session.
Where are we now?
I am pleased to report that within 4 months we had a no wee situation (other than in the litter tray!)
Rebecca followed my advice by offering Darling the remedies, giving her 1-2-1 attention and also allowing her to be involved with the girls and what was going on around the home.
Now Bella is very respectful of Darlings space, she is continuing to bond with her, all be it over a packet of treats, but whatever works right!? And Bella is also getting involved with Darlings’ ‘me time’ as the family call it.
Rebecca came upstairs one afternoon to find Bella with Darlings herb box ‘We’re pampering Darling mummy’ she said. Cute much?!
I’ve shared this case study with you as I wanted to highlight that when a cat exhibits what we would term a ‘problem behaviour’ it’s really the cat trying to communicate with you.
Darling was trying to say she was unhappy, needed change in the home and also more in her life.
Rebecca just needed an interpreter – which is where I came in.
I hope you’ve enjoyed reading about Darling.
If you are experiencing problems with your cat or you need an interpreter, please check out my services page and see what feels right for you.
The quicker you get help, the easier it will be to turn the situation around and get you a happy home again.
The names of the guardian and her children have been changed to respect their privacy.