In this blog we’ll look at how you can help your cat. It’s not about litter trays, it’s about looking within. It’s about helping you to see that you always have a choice in how you show up for your cat. Let’s look at how your energy affects them both mentally and physically, and why you may need a time out!
What is my cat trying to tell me?
In this blog we will look at how cats communicate with us, and I’ll share with you my 3 top tips for ‘speaking cat!’
As a holistic cat therapist, it is my raison d’etre to help cat guardians understand their feline friends. Some people think that cats are complicated animals, others believe cats are really laid back and don’t need much interaction or attention.
I believe that cats are sentient, sensitive beings and they are with us to teach us. They thrive on connection and the more you learn to ‘speak cat’, the more you can deepen your relationship and connection with them.
Why does my cat do that?
The lessons from a cat will be different for everyone, and each cat will have it’s own way to share with you. It’s our job as their guardian to not only provide their essential, key resources and a safe environment to enable them to thrive, but to also understand what they are trying to teach us.
When I look back now on my relationship with Pickle (my dear sweet baby girl, first ever cat and inspiration), I see how our journey helped to shape me. She guided me to train in complementary therapies so I could help other cats. This was to her own detriment, as I only found these other modalities through her suffering. She was incredibly poorly, for a very long time which drove me to learn more to help her.
At the time I didn’t understand why she was weeing outside of the litter tray; I didn’t understand why my darling girl was so ill and the helpless feelings that I experienced about that. But now I see. Now I know that she needed to be poorly so I would find other ways to help her. She needed to help me feel that frustration so I could turn it into drive, momentum, passion.
We may not always understand, in the moment, why our cats are doing a certain thing. We may not understand why they have to suffer so much, despite our best efforts to help them. We can understand and believe that there is a reason behind it. A purpose.
Have you ever heard of soul contracts? If not I urge you to Google it, to read more about it. Tammy Billups has a great book called Animal Soul Contracts and it really explains, in clear and concise ways, how our cats (and other animal friends) are with us for a reason. Why they show up in the way they do. Why they have suffering or display ‘problem behaviours’ – essentially it’s all for us. Our growth, our souls purpose, our evolution.
What to do when you don’t know what to do
Ok so let’s say that your cat is driving you CRAZY. They are weeing around the house, scratching the furniture, overgrooming, constantly attacking you. Whatever it is, they are doing something that is pushing your buttons (and not in a good way!)
Top tip #1 Breathe
Our breath can be really grounding and centring. I know in that moment you may want to shout at the cat – trust me it won’t help. Either of you. The cat won’t understand and although you may feel better in that singular moment, afterwards comes the cat mum or cat dad guilt. It’s not worth it, trust me. So, when they trigger you, annoy you, frustrate you…breathe.
Top tip #2 Emotional awareness
After you have taken your deep breath, ask yourself the question ‘What is this making me feel’? Cats are renowned healers. Most people think it is simply their purr, or the feel of their fur that is healing for us humans. And yes they are both great, but there is SOOO much more to cats than this. As I said, they are here to teach us.
One of the many ways they do this is by accessing our emotions. They can tell when we are sad; I know you’ve had a cat comfort you. They embrace our joy; I know you’ve also had silly playtime with a cat. AND they access a range of emotions in between.
They are such powerful healers that that can tell when we have anger we need to release, when we have pain and sorrow that needs to be shifted. They will perform behaviours that help us to release these, often blocked, emotions.
The next time your cat does something that in some way causes you suffering, frustrates you or aggravates you, ask yourself ‘What is this behaviour bringing up for me’. That is where the real understanding of ‘speaking cat’ begins.
Top tip #3 Gratitude
This sounds like the most simple top tip…trust me it is the hardest! How can you thank your cat for weeing on your bed, for attacking your leg or harming themselves? Sounds like I’ve lost my marbles right?! This has been the biggest lesson that all my cats have, and are continuing, to show me. From Pickle with her daily bouts of sickness to Leo and his desperate need to be outside. Then enter Max and his incessant need to climb everything taller than him!
Sometimes gratitude comes easily:
I am grateful Leo ate his breakfast
I am grateful Leo came home
I am grateful Max is healthy
I am grateful Max had a ‘normal’ poop
It’s easier, I’ve found, to be grateful for the things that went the way I wanted them to. It can be more of a challenge to be grateful for things that were the opposite, but they are where the learning sits. They are where the true lies. They are where the messages are from our cats. In those things that pushed us, stretched us, made us feel uncomfortable – that is what our cat is trying to tell us.
We just simply have to listen.
So, the next time your cat does something that drives you crazy:
Breathe, reflect and be thankful. That’s all you need to do. Simple.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this blog and it’s helped you to look at your cats behaviour from a different perspective.
Drop me a quick email with how your cat has helped you: firstname.lastname@example.org
I love to read how our feline friends help us all to grow.